by The holidays are usually special and full of meaning, but sometimes they can also be stressful. For parents, this time of year can bring unique challenges that they don’t normally face all year round.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy joined “Good Morning America” to share her top tips on keeping the peace and balancing family rules around extended family and friends.
To focus more on fun and quality time, Kennedy recommends setting expectations right away.
“Setting expectations is the first step in having a vacation that feels really good,” says Kennedy, the founder of the parenting approach Good Inside.
How to manage different sets of rules
This undated stock photo shows a family having dinner at Christmas.
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Family rules vary from household to household, of course, but Kennedy suggests parents should remain flexible when it comes to rule changes during the holidays.
“Let’s say you’re a family where my kids don’t watch TV after a certain time and then your kids are with their cousins and they’re all watching a movie late at night,” Kennedy said. “And if you think, if I change this rule today, it doesn’t mean, oh, that rule is gone forever. I’m giving myself permission to change things, to make things work during the holidays.”
How to deal with unwanted input from family
Extended family members may not agree with a parenting approach, but Kennedy said remaining diplomatic is the best approach.
“You are not alone in this dilemma,” Kennedy said.
“One of my favorite quotes is actually to defuse it by saying something like, ‘You’re right. We’re doing things with Bobby that are different than what you would do. It’s okay that we disagree.'”
How to deal with too many gifts for your children
This undated stock photo shows a family sitting in front of their Christmas tree.
STOCK PHOTO/Adobe Stock
Receiving too many gifts at once doesn’t automatically mean your children will become spoiled children, Kennedy said.
“If your parents give your child a lot of gifts, that’s not going to turn your child into a monster,” Kennedy said. “Your child is cared for by you 365 days a year. Their development – that happens over so much longer than the holiday week.”
How to learn gratitude
“We have to start with, if you want something and you get something else, that’s just a difficult human experience,” Kennedy said.
“You can get a box. I did this with my kids and I put a rock in it. It’s a bit of a test drive. And I gave it to my daughter – after we did this and she opened it and she said : ‘Oh, thank you so much for thinking of me.'”
“We can’t expect ourselves to use a skill when we need it if we haven’t practiced that skill,” Kennedy added.
